Romeo and a Fake Juliet
by Midsummer's Day
Summary: Two households, that of Egbert and Strider, both alike in dignity, find themselves in new troubles that only the death of their heirs can quell.
1. Act 1, Scene 1

**A/N: Hello! This is a John/Dave story with a few other ships, based of the story of Romeo and Juliet, although this story is a bit modernized. I will be divert the story away from the original storyline some.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p>Enters those belonging to the house of Egbert. Both donning the obvious and usual apparel of the dark cerulean doublet that reveals a faded ocean blue shirt underneath, one walks with an eager, anticipated walk as the other counteracts him, with a slow stride alongside his house brethren.<p>

The one who walks as if he's looking for something, _waiting_ for something, speaks first with a loud, demanding voice. "Tavros, I swear, we cannot continue to fall victim to their teases. My mood is not one to play with this day. Can you agree with me?"

The other, who lingers in the shadows and who is constantly wringing his hands, pays no attention to his friend's voice, and retorts in his own tone, "Oh, yes, I guess we cannot..." He does not meet his partner's eyes.

But even if he wanted to, he could not, as the one named Sollux was looking around at every corner, changing his view every few seconds. "If someone picks a fight with us on this day, they will surely soon regret it."

The one with the name Tavros laughs shakily. "Sollux? Should you not be, oh, a bit more concerned with not getting in trouble? We will only be met with the reward of jail."

Sollux only laughs in response. "I am a quick fucker when I'm angry, Tavros."  
>"It is a bit hard to make you angry though, Sollux."<p>

"One of those tools from the house of Strider could easily push me over the edge."

"Yes, push you over the edge of a cliff, so you could escape that bloody fight," Tavros says with confidence. This side of him only showed when he felt up to it, when he channeled the energy from his alter-ego, Rufio. This side was as rare as a true love that transcended all four quadrants.

Whatever that means.

"A filthy dog from that Egbert house would be enough to make me stand against him. If one dares show his face around me tonight, be not surprised if my sword is the last thing he will ever see."

Tavros sighs, already weary of the direction this conversation is leading. "You do remember that we are just, well, servants, right? The feud is between the families Strider and Egbert. Not us."

"Scared of a little excitement, Tavros? Anyway, it does not matter who it is between. After I finish off the men, I will surely be nice on their women. And by that I of course mean, with no hesitation, cut off their heads without a second thought."

Tavros is almost overcome with disgust by that thought. "That is repulsive, Sollux."

"Whatever. At least I am much more of a handsome gentleman than they are. The women would surely love me in bed more than them."

Tavros offers no response, seeing himself as embarrassed if he is to reply with a statement that told the fact that he is not ugly. Another reason contributing to Tavros's silence is the swift movement across the way. He soon recognizes the two men as rivals from the opposing house.

"Why not put your thoughts into actions. Look, members of the Strider house! Pull out your weapon!"

"Great timing! I am all ready. I have got your back, Tavros!"

"Are you, uh, sure you won't turn your back and run away?"

"You should be more worried about yourself, Tavros. Let us not initiate the fight; let them come to us, as to avoid being thrown in jail."

"I am not sure I can do much...I can, hmm, frown at them as they walk by? That should be good enough to get a reaction out of them."

"No, no. Let me flip them off. Then they can dare advance on us." The gap between the two houses becomes smaller and smaller, and soon Sollux put his plan into effect.

It works like a charm, as the one with wavy black hair, who is called upon by others with the name Eridan, stops in his tracks. His red coat tail bobs in the wind, and his petticoat flaps open without effort, exhibiting a white vest with the renown symbol of what has become to be called as the Broken Circle. The man stands for a moment with a stoic expression, but soon he breaks, and a smile tugs on his lips. "Do you flip your finger at me, sir?"

"I am just exercising my finger is all."

"Yes, but are you flipping us off?"

"Well I _am _flipping my finger off in your general direction, sir."

"But are you flipping us off?"

Sollux leans to his friend, whose heart is pounding so hard he wonders if it is audible. "Is the law on our side if I say yes?"

Tavros replies simply, "No."

"No sir, I am not flipping you off, but I am raising my middle finger."

Tavros speaks up, somehow suddenly being fed energy from his friend. "Are you looking for a fight, sir?"

"A fight? No, sir."

"Well if you are looking for one, look no further. I serve just as good a man as you do, sir," Sollux says with ease.

Eridan replies just as cooly, "Yes, but not _better._"

"Think what you may." Sollux says quietly under his breath to Tavros, "This guy is being a total tool."

Tavros leans in closer to Sollux. "Say 'better'. I see one of my master's relatives coming now."

Sollux takes his friend's advice well. "Yes, better!"

"I call bullshit!"

"Prove it! Draw your swords, if you are men! Tavros, don't forget your finishing blow."

And with those words, the four servants collide with nothing but murder in their minds. The sound of swords hitting each other, grunts, and yells fill the night. Each team find its self in a match battle, with two groups with equal strength and strategy.

"You fools! I command both those of the Strider and Egbert house to withdraw from battle! Do you two not know better than to fight?" All four men turn on their heels, and are met with the sight of Kanaya, Lady Strider's nephew. She has her spiked long sword drawn and pointed directly at them. She stands with great grace, holding herself up with respect. Clad in her burning sunset dress, one unlike any other woman's; as it accentuates her chest in such a way you're left with desire, a silk sash rippling down like fire licking her billowing frills on her dress that sways in the night breeze, they stand for a moment in awe. This woman meant always business, but she never let time elude her so far enough that she did not have any left for fashion.

However, their stupor is cut short by the entrance of a kinsman belonging to the Egbert house. Although not as wonderfully dressed as Kanaya (sporting the same apparel as the servants, but with his shirt unbuttoned and his tie hangs loosely around his shoulders), he too holds himself with respect. "What do you think you're motherfuckin' doing, fucking around with my servants, Kanaya? Turn around and try me!" A freshly sharpened blade finds itself unsheathed and in the right hand of the one they call Gamzee.

Kanaya turns, unaffected by her antagonist. "I only find myself concerned with keeping the peace, Gamzee. Either put away that dagger or use it for the better use of managing these servants!"

Gamzee lets out a laugh that rattles everyone 's bones with its deep sound. "You talk of motherfuckin' peace with your sword drawn? What kind of fucked up respite do I find myself in? I hate the word peace just as so I hate the word hell, the place you soon will find the whole house of Strider in!"

With those final thoughts spoken aloud, the three groups now resume fighting. Citizens waste no time in reporting to the scene of the fight, shouting their thoughts."Down with Striders! Down with the Egberts! Beat them down!"

Also wasting no time in rushing to the scene are the masters of the Egbert house. They are dressed in the finest fibers, glowing in all their soft blue royalty.

"What is this silly ruckus! Milady, give me my gun! Er, please."

"No one uses guns anymore, my love. Gosh, it seems the times now are that of swords."

The view of the masters of the Strider house did not ease Jake's mind.

"There comes Dirk now! He has his weapon drawn just to poke fun at me!"

"Dear, I do believe that Dirk is just a barney," Jane coos, stroking her husband's hand with her own.

"You Egbertian jackass!" Dirk cries out. He charges for Jake, but is held back by his own wife, Roxy.

"Noooononono." She shakes her head violently, her golden hair whipping around her head. It is very clear she has been drinking, as her words mash together like the fighting servants. "No fighting for you! Not ifs Imma 'round." Her body moves with the wind, and she finds herself constantly bumping against her raging husband. Albeit under the influence, she keeps her lover within her boundaries.

The whole street is in utter chaos; citizens flinging hot words in the cold night, blood being shed under petty circumstances, so it's no wonder their merciless princess steps in. Once again had they forgotten the legend of her vision eightfold.

Commanding all the attention with simply her presence, she stands before the crowd. Her crown shines a heavenly gold, contrasting against her wavy black hair. Everyone's gut sinks as she raises a hand to the eye patch that covers her left eye, and rips it off in anger. Livid is she, the fact obvious to everyone, as her body shakes. Her voice booms above all the whispers,"You idiots! You dare spill blood on MY streets? You dare raise hell over childish things? Do you forget who rules you, above all else? Do you? You there, you men and women who think of nothing but swimming in the blood of your enemies to curb your anger, listen closely! I will take no more than a second to have you tortured, by my hand if I please, if you do not lay down your weapons and listen to your overseer!" The group does as commanded, and the princess goes on, still not delighted. "Three riots have now exploded in this city, all because of a casual passing by, and do not play the victim, as both houses, Strider and Egbert, have initiated fights. You have annihilated the peace and caused the folks of this fair town to rip you apart. If this happens again, you will pay with your damn lives. Everyone, away from this unruly skirmish. Egbert, come with me. Strider, meet me later this night to discuss what I want from you."

Everyone does as their one true overlord demands, and soon, the only ones left on the street are the masters of the Strider house and Kanaya.

Lord Strider turns to his faithful niece. "Kanaya, I order of you one thing: Who started this fight?"

Kanaya looks her master straight in the eyes, gripping a gushing wound on her left arm which she pays little attention to. "Your servants where fighting those of the enemy house. I held out my sword to part them, but unfortunately, my timing was blessed not, as at that moment, that short-tempered Gamzee turned up, prepared with a dagger. Things got out of hand, and soon more and more people arrived to see what disturbed the night as so."

Lady Strider exhales a breath so large, her chest sinks in and her back arches. She leans against her husband and meets Kanaya's bright green eyes with her own that are not unlike the rose colored jewels she so often wears. "I am glad my poor son was not at this fray. Have you spoken to him today?"

"My fair master, I did. I took a walk earlier this evening, just before becoming a spectator in this fight. I had a fair amount of thoughts weighing on my mind, so I speculated some fresh air would help clear my mind. I saw your son, young Dave, also taking a stroll, and began to walk up to him. But alas, he saw me and made out for the woods. I figured that maybe he felt the same as me and just wanted to get away, so I respected his privacy and let him be."

Lord Strider rubs his eyes. You can tell he is tired, but not sleepy, for it is a tired that a thousand years of rest could not cure. "He has been seen there as of recent, crying and brooding. But just as soon as the sun rises in the east, he finds his way home to escape the morning light. He locks himself in his room, making his own night. I fear that things may get to a point of no return, unless someone can fix him."

"Dear Uncle, do you know the reason for his downtrodden actions?"

"I neither know it nor can get him to speak to me about it."

"Maybe I should take it upon myself to ask of Dave his troubles. I believe that maybe now he is ready to spill his feelings. Ah, here he comes now."

"I hope you are right. Come, Roxy." Lord and Lady Strider exit the scene, leaving a somber feeling behind.

Kanaya puts on her best comforting smile and looks at her cousin. "Good evening, David."

He barely glances at her, then returns his gaze to the ground beneath his feet. "Evening? Is it still that early?"

"Early? Why, it's almost time for most civilians to sleep."

"Yes, but what stretches out before me is a long night of wishing I were somewhere else. Like an introvert at an extravagant party. Was that my father I just saw walking away?"

"Yes. David, if I may ask, what makes your hours so long?"

"I do not posses that of which makes them short."

Kanaya scrunches her brow, deep in thought. "Fun?" She teases.

"No. A lover."

"You are in love?" Kanaya's face relaxes, softens before a smile appears.

"What is up with the twenty questions? No; out."

Her face falls again. She's back to wondering. "Out...of love?"

"You have got to be kidding me. I am stuck like an idiot schoolboy who has just got his ass handed to him in school. I love her, but she does not love me."

"Ah, I see, I see." She starts to pace around her cousin. "Love can be a tricky thing to deal with. Like a rose, so beautiful, but you never stop once to think about the thorns until you are hurt by one."

"Nice one," Dave says, rolling his eyes. Kanaya is quick enough to catch a glimpse at his eyes that he rarely lets anyone see. Shivers erupt down her spine. No matter how many times she sees his blood red eyes, she's always surprised.

"What is sad is that I am stuck by myself after all that time chasing after her." He takes a sideways glance at his cousin, fully eying her for the first time that night. He tenses up suddenly. "What happened to you? Oh, don't tell me, _another_ brawl? Jesus, how many more will be birthed from loving hate, serious foolishness? This town is just one ugly mess. I suppose I cannot hate too much, if that is one thing the town and I have in common." He pauses. "Are you laughing at me?"

His cousin is taken back. "Why no! I would rather cry!"

"I knew this would happen. Showing my pain only causes others the same, and I cannot handle much more of this apathetic bullshit. I am out." The young heir of the Strider household spun on his heels and started for the opposite direction.

"Wait! You cannot just leave me here. Tell me, who do you love?" Kanaya spits out.

"Do you really care?" He says over his shoulder.

"If I did not care, I would turn away as well and rest my head and think about how well off I have it compared to some weakling love has dug its tendrils into."

"I love a woman. Is that enough?"

She fakes a gasp. "No? My intelligence had not been so high as to figure that out already." She makes sure her sentence is dripping with sarcasm.

But Dave doesn't pick up on it. "What, you were not expecting a different gender, were you? She is a beautiful _woman_."

"Of course, only one to match your good looks."

"Sadly, our aesthetically pleasing looks will not be passed down to future generations. She is sworn to be as chaste as an insecure young school girl, and nothing can change her mind."

"She has sworn to be chaste?"

"Can you believe it? I give her everything, and now she is depriving herself of sex and purging this world of her beauty. And so, this decision has left me a walking dead man. A hollow being with no direction."

"I have a great idea," Kanaya clasps her hands together.

"Yes?"

"Do not think about her."

"Oh please, serve me like a man on butler island. Serve me the greatest dish of all; the food that will teach me how to forget."

"It is easy. Look at other women."

"What is the point? There is not a woman more beautiful than her."

"I will so serve you like a man up to his _neck _in butlers, serving him that delicious dish of forgetting if such actions will make you smile again."

And with that statement, they walk off together, each with their own thoughts and plans filling their mind.


	2. Act 1, Scene 2

A young man sits in the living area of the Egbert house. Crossed arms and tightened fists, he lets his eyes wander around the room while he halfheartedly listens to the man who sits parallel to him. Gold chandeliers hang from the ceiling like sparkling icicles, ivory wall designs shine brightly in the light, and the sound of the piano plays in the background like a quiet forest brook. If he was any other person, he would say he was impressed, but this Count isn't like the others of his time; he is careful, but impatient and foul-mouthed. Considerate, but a smile very seldom plays on his lips. This Count is named Karkat, and he is oh so bored to death by Lord Egbert's speech about the long rivalry between the two grand houses of Strider and Egbert.

"Although, Strider has sworn an oath, just as I! I do not believe that it will be too hard to keep both our hindquarters out of jail without both of us going one-on-one in a challenging fisticuff." He takes a long sip of his tea, pleased with his long lecture of their history.

Karkat tears his attention from the room around him. Meeting his conversational partner's eyes, he replies, "Riiight. Well, moving on to more important issues than your damn rivalry, what about my offer?"

The Lord clears his throat nervously, and his face hints that he finds the offer a bit, well, embarrassing. "Yes, yes, mate, I have kept you waiting long enough. I have to say that Joanna is still very young! She has not even seen her fourteenth annual cross-country expedition!"

The Count lets out a long, agitated sigh, muttering under his breath, "Self-absorbed twit, maybe if you paid more attention to her…"

Jake looks up from his tea. "You say something, chap?"

Karkat grits his teeth. "Forget it. You know, women way fucking younger than she have become very happy mothers."

Jake coughs. He throws side-long glances at the things around him, anything that wasn't the Count. "Yes, a-and cheers to them, I say!" He gives a shaky laugh. "But would you agree that for Joanna to grow up so soon would be a little…bad? Although, you have my consent to woo her; make her love you, if you so wish! I can only be a part in her decision. If she chooses you, then my blessings to you two." He exhales hard, like he isn't getting enough air. He sucks in another breath before continuing. "Tonight, I am throwing a most frightfully exciting feast that I annually host. I have invited my dearest chumps, and I would love to see your face here tonight. You will not be disappointed; stars will gleam on the ground beneath your feet and will illuminate many a women, as beautiful as the mountains that surround this town! Beautiful as a new voyage, a new adventure into a mysterious cavern. Take a look at them, drink in their beauty, be shy not to choose one that tickles your fancy. Once you see them, I am sure my daughter will seem less appealing. Come along with me, and I will share more details about this feast."

Karkat follows the Lord out of the living space, bubbling with anger. Why does his interest's father dodge his offer so? His thought is interrupted by a servant he has not seen before.

Bounding into the room is a woman of small stature, dressed in clothes more fit for a boy. She walks with a spring in every step and a look in her eye like she has a secret that nobody knows.

"Good day, my Lord!" She speaks with a high-pitched, cheery voice.

"Ah, Nepeta! Good timing! Here, take this paper and travel all through Verona. Find those on this list and tell them they are welcome at this house tonight."

She eagerly takes the paper from her master and bows awkwardly. "Yes, sir!"

Jake smiles and nods to his servant before leading Karkat out of the room. Wasting no time in starting her quest, she dances her way out of the mansion, ready to make her master proud. Leaping through the gardens, stumbling out the stone paved walk that led to the mansion, her head is filled of happy thoughts of the party that is to be thrown that night.

But with all missions come difficulty. She finds herself almost completely lost in a place unknown to her when she realizes she has no idea where she is or where she is headed. The happy servant opens up the letter, and soon she feels her stomach do somersaults. Her smile breaks and her eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"Oh, just perfect! Stupid me! Why did I not ask for help when I could have got it? I know not how to read these names written here. Shoemakers should meddle with his yard, the…does that say tailor? The tailor with his last, the fisher with his pencil, and the painter with his net? Oh dear me, but I am to complete this duty soon! I've got to find someone who can help."

To our helpless servant's luck, in come two people who know how to read; a servant with a white tourniquet wrapped around her arm and an apathetic looking young man. She walks close to him with a hand on his shoulder.

"You are intelligent enough to see that you can easily put one trouble to bed with a new one. A new pain can lessen the one that currently possesses you. Young children even know that if they find themselves dizzy, they must turn the other way. The remedy to your illness is to become lovesick with another girl, therefore your poison can be cured."

"You speak as if my illness can be cured with a thing as simple as the plantain leaf."

"Why it could be! Is your mind becoming duller with each passing minute your heart is shoved in the dark? Are you going mad, my dear Dave?"

"I am not crazy, Kanaya. But I am just as mental feeling as that doll my dear father had that puppeteer make me when I was younger. The one with those void eyes, that eerie smile, the very same one I would lock up in my closet and pretend it was a prisoner. I would give it no food and wish it were de—Oh good evening, madame." He looks up at the servant quickly to acknowledge her presence, then returns his gaze to the ground.

"May the heavens smile upon you. Pray thee, do you know how to read?"

Dave kicks up dirt mournfully. "I can read my own fortune in my misery."

Nepeta stands with her mouth open, confused and unsure of what to say. "A-ah, yes, well, can you read anything you see?"

"Why of course, do I look stupid? Do not bother answering that."

The joyful servant feels her optimistic vibe fade away. Why, this man it seems is too depressed to care enough to even look her in the eyes. "Right. Well, have a good day."

"Stay, fellow. I can read. Let us see here... 'Signor Noir and his wife and daughters, Count Ace Dick and his beautiful sisters, the widow of Scratch, Signor Spades and his lovely nieces, Terezi and her brother Lemonsnout, my uncle Egbert and his wife and daughters, my fair niece Rosaline and Livia, Signor Highblood and his cousin Gamzee, Clubs and the lively Snowball.' A fair assembly of guests. Where are their presence commanded to be?"

"Up!" Nepeta shouted gleefully, happy the puzzle of the list is finally solved.

"Yes, but where? To supper, I guess?"

"To our house, silly!"

Dave chuckles. "Yes, but _whose _house?"

"My master's house!"

"Ah. I should have asked thee of that information beforehand."

Nepeta happily spins around, the tail of her shirt following suit. "Well, I will happily indulge thee in that information so you do not have to ask! My master is the great and rich Egbert, and if you are not that of the house of Strider, then please, it is of my request that you attend this party and enjoy a cup of wine! Have a wondrous day!" She takes the paper from Dave and bounces away, intent on finishing her job.

Kanaya turns quickly to Dave. "Did you hear that? The beautiful Rosaline you love so much will be at Egbert's annual feast, along with every fair maiden in Verona! You shall come with me, attend that party, and compare your beautiful love to the other, more eligible women I will show you! Be not weary, for I will show you the most beautiful women. Soon, the woman who you think is as beautiful as a swan will be as ugly as a crow!"

Dave backs away from her. "If my eyes ever lie to me like that, let my tears turn into burning, red-hot flames and scorch the ungodly color from my eyes for betraying me! A woman more beautiful than Rosaline? The world has not seen one more beautiful since the world began."

"Hah, see, your logic is flawed, my dear. For you see, you first deemed her beautiful when there was no one else to compare her with! No one was around. This party provides excellent women and a perfect opportunity for you to overcome your ailment. The women I shall bring to you will make you think twice about dear ol' Rosaline."

Dave grunts. "Alright, alright. Will it make you happy if I go?"

"Yes, very much so."

"Then I shall go. But only to see my love, Rosaline."


End file.
